How I Successfully Reintroduced Cats After Fighting
- Rachel
- Aug 3, 2024
- 16 min read
Updated: Mar 12
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In this article:
Reintroducing cats after a fight can be challenging and scary, for humans as well as cats, but following the 6 steps as outlined in my previous post gives the best chance of a positive outcome.
Related post: How to Reintroduce Cats After a Fight in 6 Steps
I prefer the term "positive" to "successful" because it's easy to associate success with failure, and not everything is so black and white. It's only natural to want cats to return to their former selves, to rebuild friendships and bonds with other sibling cats. The harsh reality is that your kitties may never get along, but tolerance and avoidance are both positive outcomes, especially when we consider the solitary nature of cats.
If they can share a space and settle any disputes without it turning physical then there's every chance that, in time, they'll reach a new version of normality. Once they realise the other cat isn't a threat to themselves or their resources, managing aggression becomes much simpler.
Following a case of redirected aggression between my boys, I'm no stranger to the separation and reintroduction process. Applying this strategy to your own situation is one thing, but sometimes it helps to hear about other people's experiences - whether for good or bad - as there may be things you can resonate with and learn from.
This article is about delving into the details and sharing a more personal account of what can be a long and complex process. I've been there, I've seen it and, more importantly, I've done it!
Related post: 3 Reasons Why Your Bonded Cats Are Fighting
Separation
The purpose of separating cats is to give them a chance to cool off and allow any adrenaline to leave the system. This is less likely to happen if they're bumping into each other every five minutes, which presents an opportunity for the dreaded stare down. Aggression doesn't always have to be physical - in fact, fighting is often a last resort - so it's crucial that we break this cycle.
Where fighting is persistent or cats are at risk of injuring each other, it's recommended to keep them separated for a minimum of 24-48 hours (this was enough for my boys). In cases of severe aggression, I've heard of people keeping cats apart for 2 weeks or more. We humans are so caught up with timeframes in our daily lives that we forget cats work on a schedule all of their own!
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The hardest thing for me as a parent was shutting the boys in separate rooms. What if they forgot each other? What if it made things worse? What if they hated me? Blocking off areas of the house was as inconvenient for me as it was for two cats that are accustomed to having free access to every room on every floor. No one likes disruption to routine, including our furry friends.
I was fortunate to have an upstairs and a downstairs so they each had space to roam, but that didn’t stop “Needy” Simba from crying at every door or barrier he came across. It was worse overnight because they'd slept in my room ever since they were kittens. Shutting Drax in the dining room was heartbreaking but, as the more laid-back and independent of the two, it was making the best out of a bad situation.
That first night without him was a sleepless one, not just for me. Simba wouldn’t settle and kept going to search for his brother, even when they couldn’t stand to be around each other. Neither understood what was happening, just that everything had changed. I hated it, but I also hated lying awake in fear of when the next fight would break out.
There should be no visual contact during separation - a mistake I made more than once. With a dining room door made up of glass panels, it gave perfect opportunity to engage in the "stare down" I mentioned earlier.
I was alerted by the familiar sounds of hissing and yowling so covered the lower panels with paper, but this didn’t stop Drax from jumping onto a stool so he could see over the top of it. I added more paper thinking I’d outsmarted them, but they soon figured out that they could still see each other if one went halfway up the stairs and peered through the banister.
Why?! Why did they always insist on looking for each other?
I felt like tearing my hair out, but this is a perfect example of two cats that aren’t ready to share the same space.
Site Swapping
Site swapping involves rotating cats around different rooms or areas of the home so they can spread their scents and pick up the scents of other cats. This might seem strange if they've been living together for months or years prior to this, but it's all about creating a neutral environment where they can reacquaint with each other in a positive way.
In the previous post, we discussed things like swapping blankets, bedding and toys if site rotations are difficult. I used both methods to ensure there was always something close by to where the cats slept. One thing I liked to do was rub a blanket or towel over one cat to load it with scent, then rub the same blanket/towel over the other cat so they smelled of each other.
Baby gates are useful during separation as you can cover them with a blanket to block off sight, but cats can still hear each other moving around on the other side. This can also be achieved with a door, but it makes reintroduction easier to have a barrier in place that can allow for some visual contact later on.
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For the living room, I used this extra tall baby gate from Amazon that's recommended for larger pets as well as children. My boys have never tried to jump over it, but it's easy enough to attach a piece of card by making some holes and using string or cable ties to fasten it to the bars of the door.
If your cats are anything like mine and decide to pull up the blanket to create spyholes, a bit of tape should do the trick. In one instance I found them swatting each other through the bars, which was an amusing if not another epic fail on my part. I say amusing because they were actually playing - another benefit of this method - and it showed there was still a bond, however faint.
Distraction
Reintroducing cats is based around two important distractions: food and play. Meals are the best time to begin reintroductions, starting with feeding cats simultaneously either side of your chosen barrier. Whatever you use, the most important thing is maintaining the no-visuals rule.
To recap, you should start by leaving a distance of six to eight feet each way and gradually move bowls closer to the barrier over the following meals. Again, let's not slap a timeframe on this stage because they'll be ready whenever they're ready. The problem arises when you have cats, like mine, that aren't big eaters and would rather sleep than chase a feather wand.
For a long time, Simba was too scared to approach his brother - just hearing Drax on the other side of a door was bad enough. This, along with the fact that simply moving his food bowl to an unfamiliar area would upset Mr Needy, was a battle I couldn't win. By the time I managed to tempt him anywhere, Drax had already scoffed his meal so it defeated the purpose.
Simba was so averse to this new routine that he resorted to licking crumbs off the floor near his regular food station, which honestly made me cry. He's a sensitive soul and this wasn't working for either of us; hopefully, you can be more persistent or switch to treats like I did (see original post).
All being well, once cats are comfortable eating next to each other, you can start raising the blanket to allow some visual contact. Keep it gradual, inch by inch, and be prepared for some initial hissing. If aggression persists then go back a step and try again next time.
These are the advantages of using a gate over a door, but the goal can be achieved either way. Just be sure to supervise cats so they can't squeeze through any gaps and, if in doubt, close the door and start over.
Play is another great distraction as it burns off energy while helping cats to share a space without the focus being on each other (hopefully!). The more positive associations you create, the more cats will learn that good stuff happens when they're together. Be sure to reward good behaviour with extra treats and, similarly, ignore the not-so-good behaviour.
No yelling, no discipline and no punishments - the cold shoulder is a much more effective tactic. We don't want to frighten cats, especially not in the presence of other cats. By contributing to an already negative experience, they're more likely to remember it and associate you with that fear. Once you've lost kitty's trust, it'll be much harder to mediate.
Likewise, rushing to soothe your cat can be just as detrimental because they'll learn that such behaviour awards them extra attention; therefore, no attention works both ways!
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If you're familiar with this site - and my less than energetic cats - you'll know that stimulating play has been a battle all of its own. The most interaction they showed was with a laser pointer, which worked out well because you can direct them both to the barrier so they're effectively chasing the same thing.
This helped to build up Simba's confidence around his brother without having to worry about potential attacks. Even if they engaged in the occasional hissing and growling war, the barrier prevented Drax from chasing so it couldn't escalate into something worse.
Related post: 12 Types of Cat Toys and Games for All Cats to Play
It got to a point where Simba would run back and forth chirping at his brother and trying to pat him through the banister, which was an excellent sign that he wanted to play. Of course, we had to cover the gaps with netting due to Drax’s ability to squeeze through anything larger than a letterbox - these are cheap and easy enough to buy online.
Reintroduction
Once cats are comfortable eating and playing in each other's presence, you face the biggest challenge of all: removing the barrier. Cats will most definitely want to inspect each other, which is probably the first hurdle. Simba was stuck in defence mode for a long time, and rebuilding trust didn't happen overnight.
The boys started with a few "nose kisses" which later became head licks, followed by playful but cautious swatting and, finally, full-on wrestling matches and sleeping side by side. That's not to say they always played nice; aggression and fighting seemed to be part of the process, but it was nothing like before.
Most altercations were started by Simba being a drama queen, for which I'm not surprised after months of built-up trauma. One sideways look or sudden movement from Drax was enough to throw him into a hissy fit. Sometimes Drax retaliated, other times he did well to keep his composure until I was able to intervene.
The biggest issue was with the layout of the house: a hallway, landing and two flights of stairs provided too many chasing zones and stand-off opportunities in those narrow spaces. It was a case of restricting areas as much as possible while allowing them the freedom to play and bond. My best advice is to keep the barrier to hand, just in case!
This is the part of my experience that I wanted to share the most because it was undoubtedly the toughest. My boys are such wimps that getting those aggression levels down didn’t take too much effort, even less so with Simba who had more of a confidence issue than anything. Drax had always been a big softy, so to see this darker side of him was shocking to say the least.
After a couple of weeks of supervised meetings, I let Drax back into my bedroom overnight and it went better than expected. They played and napped like old times, things were looking up. Unfortunately, I had to revert to separation after a nasty fight broke out that left both boys with scratched faces.
Again, I went through the necessary steps and, again, they made friends for all of a few days. I suspect that Simba had finally reached a breaking point, and it seemed to have been triggered by their last altercation. He was one pissed off kitty and could no longer tolerate the sight of his brother.
I realised that his anxiety was more deep-rooted than he'd been showing on the surface and Drax's attempts to play were being mistaken for attacks. It wasn't fair on either of them, so with a heavy heart I made the decision to take a step back and give them more time.
Over the following month, the boys could only be together under strict supervision which wasn't fun or convenient for anyone. Work, sleep and life in general allows little time for cats. They were in separation for a good portion of the day and night, and I worried about the detrimental effect it might have on their already strained relationship.
Was I doing the right thing? Had I somehow caused this? They treated each other like strangers and it was fast becoming the worst experience of my life. I just wanted my boys back!
A lot of it boils down to trial and error, and there are several areas where we might go wrong - such as pushing cats too fast or giving them too much freedom. If you find that things go downhill after removing the barrier, keep it in place even if cats appear to be getting along.
It might be a good idea to introduce cats on different levels, particularly if they're nervous or scared. As a starting point, I waited until Simba was at the top of his cat tree before letting Drax into the room, and Simba would come down in his own time - this is where distraction comes in handy.
Simba had to learn that it was safe to pass by his brother, and Drax had to understand that his brother wasn't a moving target. If Simba ran then Drax would chase, which was 90% of the problem and difficult to prevent.
I gradually moved the cats to other areas, the main one being my bedroom as it's where they spent a lot of time and I didn't want to have to keep shutting Drax downstairs. Simba would watch cautiously from the safety of the bed while I kept Drax entertained. It was a very long and repetitive process of doing the same routine every day; however, sleeping arrangements are finally back to normal!
All that being said, we need to allow some freedom to see where cats are at, how much progress they've made and what needs to be worked on. I was overprotective at times, splitting the boys up as soon as one of them hissed which prevented them from establishing a hierarchy. That is, giving Simba the chance to stand up to his brother and say: “NO! This behaviour isn’t okay and I won’t tolerate it."
Aggression has a lot to do with personality type and, luckily for me, neither of my boys are truly dominant. Simba was trapped in a victim mentality, which I'm sure was annoying for Drax being hissed at whenever he wanted to walk past. Deep down they were, and always had been, a couple of scaredy-cats - it just presented itself in very different ways.
How Long It Took to Reintroduce Cats
Four months after the initial separation, my boys can be in the same room together and engage in friendly interactions without being supervised. They've learned to be cautious around each other, which is good in the sense that they're trying to reach an agreement; but when nerves are on edge, it allows for occasional misunderstandings.
Unexpectedly bumping into each other in those dreaded doorways is the biggest issue, but aggression is usually vocal and tends not to escalate (with intervention). It's mostly defensive behaviour from Simba and Drax is doing his best not to retaliate, which is surprising given that a few months ago he'd have attacked without any provocation at all.
With a combination of environmental changes and natural remedies, such as pheromone diffusers and calming supplements, progress is slow and steady. In some cases, separation and reintroduction is only the beginning of the journey - and that's okay.
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It's crucial that you deal with or eliminate whatever is triggering a cat's aggression before you start to work on its relationship with other cats. One thing I've learned is that the process will be ineffective if there remains any underlying issues, as was the case with my boys. You wouldn't start a new medication or treatment without getting a diagnosis first, and the same applies here.
It was over a month before we figured out that a stray cat had been urine spraying outside, which may not seem very long in human terms; however, a lot of aggression can build up during that time. Regardless of other steps taken, if the stressor remains then cats still have a reason to fight.
Secondly, you must provide a calm and neutral setting for reintroduction to occur; and lastly, we have little to no control over how long it takes victim cats to work through their trauma. Adding more territory, safe places and escape routes has played a vital role in helping my boys to stay out of each other's ways.
If aggression is at risk of escalating - that is, cats are unable to resolve things without intervention - then they probably aren't ready to be left unsupervised. It's essential that nervous or timid cats have a safe place to withdraw to, even if that means short periods of separation or keeping barriers in place to reduce those unexpected encounters.
I usually separate the boys if I'm out of the house or otherwise engaged, just in case something happens and I'm unable to step in. For the most part, I use nanny cams for monitoring which has been a game changer!
Not having to follow cats around and check up on them every five seconds is less stressful for everyone, plus it helps to locate any problem areas and make further changes if necessary. There was a time when I couldn't have left them unattended in a single room, but I've been able to gradually open up more of the house while limiting meetings to an hour or less.
Most importantly, neither of them are actively seeking confrontation and physical fights are (hopefully) a thing of the past. It's merely a case of rebuilding trust between two naturally skittish cats, which was never going to be easy. The more positive associations we build, the more chance there is of returning to a normal life. Either way, semi-normal is a huge success!
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Progress Update
It's been six months since the boys had their big fall out, and I'm over the moon to report that they're 90% back on track. Their relationship has blossomed over the last few weeks, which at times I feared would never be the case. The only problems we've had is when they've been spooked by an external factor or those surprise encounters (bumping into each other in doorways).
The good news is that it's a rarity, and while I'm still very cautious of letting them have free roam of the house, the main thing is being vigilant and taking those preventative measures. This means ensuring there are plenty of resources and territory so they can avoid each other if necessary, and keeping problem areas blocked off.
Regular scooping of the litter trays and weekly floor cleans have been essential, as they seem to have a sensitivity to pongs and start obsessively sniffing the floor around the trays. Sharing a toilet never upset them in the past, but it could be that they've become a tad territorial. This is something to consider and rule out whether your cats are showing signs or not.
To combat the issue, I invested in several of these Stainless Steel Litter Trays which are so much easier to clean and don't absorb the smell of urine.
I use a Comfort Zone diffuser on each floor and am keeping up with Simba's YuMOVE Calming Care. With a combination of all of these things and adapting to their requirements, balance is slowly being restored.
Related Post: Top 10 Products I Used to Help Reintroduce Fighting Cats
I don't doubt that they'll still have their spats, but it's a joy to see them spending more time together and rekindling a bond that was almost lost. If my two drama queens can get past their difficulties then there's every hope that yours will, too!
*UPDATE*
Almost a year on, the boys are continuing to improve and have come further than I'd hoped for. They're not only happy to share a space; they actually want to spend time together. Whether it's playing chase up and down the stairs; a game of WrestleMania; pouncing on each other or taking a snooze, their old selves are at last beginning to shine through.
They still have their moments but no worse than your average kitty cat, and it's never initiated by Drax. Simba is such a sensitive boy that I suspect he has lingering trauma from the old attacks. Whether Drax decides to react depends on his mood, but he's always eager to make friends afterwards.
I'm in the process of opening up the last few areas of the house that have been blocked off, starting with site rotations so each cat can familiarise themselves with the rooms separately. This is followed by supervised meetings and then monitoring on the nanny cams - well, some would call it spying but whatever works!
A few of the doorways are still a working progress, particularly those tucked around corners. I've been using a spritz of Feliway Classic Spray in these areas and it seems to be working wonders. One by one, we're getting there!
The boys have free roam of the house during the day, something I didn't think possible 12 months ago when the aggression was at its worst. I'm hesitant to leave them alone in an empty house, but it's more for peace of mind than anything. If that's the only time I have to separate them, it's something I can live with.
They've already come this far and I remain hopeful that, in another 6-12 months, there's every chance of returning to a normal life. I'll continue to update as further progress is made, but my number one piece of advice is to give your kitties all the time they need!
Summary
Think about the layout of the home and utilise space. Whether that's with cat trees and stands; or to save space, things like window hammocks and wall-mounted shelving. Existing furniture can also be adapted: for example, placing a basket or blanket on top of a chest of drawers with a small side table to jump up.
Try different pheromone diffusers, calming sprays and supplements to see which is most effective.
Block off problem zones or minimise roaming space to reduce unnecessary conflict.
Allow cats some alone time, even if that means waiting until one's having a nap and shutting it in a room so the other has the freedom to play and explore.
Separate if there's any aggression with a short timeout.
Reward positive behaviour and ignore the negative.
Be patient and stick to a routine.
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Do you have a personal experience to share? Let us know in the comments how reintroduction went for you (and your kitties!). If you need any further advice, assistance or recommendations then don't hesitate to get in touch.
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